I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
