to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
These tits shall not be calmed
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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