Screwed.edu
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I think a kid would responsible me up
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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