even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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