i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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