i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize