you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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