Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
