So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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