someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
