I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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