I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
