i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize