i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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