Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
