I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
