I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Everything about him screamed your future.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
