im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
