i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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