You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
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