thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
