Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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