I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize