My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
