he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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