none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
