she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
