And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
