Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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