I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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