You don't have asthma, your pregnant
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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