the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Sext me about skeletons
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
