This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
