the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
