woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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