Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
