there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
