We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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