dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
