so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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