You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
