You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
