Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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