before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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