I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize