I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
