do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize