Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
