No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
