he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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