hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
