I will die if light touches me.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
