Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
