Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I supernannyed him into submission
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
