last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
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