Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Randomize
