Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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