I'm drive I can fine osifer
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
